Tough Questions for Christians 36: Collateral Damage

Why is God repeatedly punishing people for decisions they didn't make, and actions they had no part of? You'd think a "perfect" being would be able to direct his wrath more accurately -- without all the collateral damage.

God Exists.

I can't tell you how often I hear "proofs" like the one above. I exist, therefore it proves God exists... I'm afraid it's just not that easy. We know how I came to exist, I have parents - they had sex. They also came from the union of sexually active people.

However, that's not what believers are referring to when they make such a claim. They know how you and I came into existence, they don't know how life started in the first place.

Abiogenesis, life from non-life. How did it happen? Theists answer by simply saying "God did it." (Which doesn't answer the question. It is an attempt to explain WHO did it, but the answer still doesn't explain HOW it happened.) Skeptics like myself simply admit the truth - I don't know.

Why are theists so uncomfortable with "I don't know?" Why are those words so difficult for them to say -- oh, but they're not. When you start asking difficult questions about God, the theist will quickly admit their ignorance, and even claim that it's impossible to understand God.

Why the double standard?

Why is it okay to admit you don't know why God would create a system by which the only way to pay for sin was to kill something that was innocent of the crime it's being killed for... but it's not okay for scientists to admit they don't (yet) know how life came from non-life?

Eventually scientists may be able to answer the question of abiogenesis -- although "true believers" will deny it like they deny evolution -- until that time, I'm comfortable with my ignorance.

If a theist believes God created life from non-life, please provide a detailed explanation of HOW he changed dead matter into living organisms, and... if it's not to much to ask... please provide a method we can use to test your hypothesis.

Wacky Bible Stories 3

I'm sorry it's been so long since I've put up a new video, I've had a lot going on. My daughter turned one, I got a promotion at work (so I've got a bit more of a work load), and, I had a vacation.

So, I've had a lot going on that has kept me away from You Tube. For those of you who enjoy my videos, I apologize. I am still here, I am still making videos. Rest assured, the Wacky Bible Stories as well as the other series I have are going to continue. In fact, I'm going to start another Wacky Bible Story right now.

1 Samuel, Chapter 5.

Now, when this chapter starts out, the Ark of the Covenant has been stolen. (For those of you who don't know what the Ark of the Covenant is, it's that box that Indiana Jones was looking for in Raiders of the Lost Ark.)

Well apparently it was stolen. The Philistines captured it and took it to a city called Ashdod.

Now when they carried the ark in, they put it into Dagon's temple and put it right next to a statue of their God, Dagon.

The next day, the statue had fallen over... Wow.

So they stood it back up again. And it fell over again the next day. And this time his hands were broken off and his head was broken off. (Clearly this is a very powerful God, he can tip over a statue and make it break.)

The Lord's wrath didn't stop with just breaking a statue, no. The Lord's hand was heavy with the people of Ashdod. He killed lots of them, and afflicted the survivors with... hemorrhoids!

Some translations say "tumors," or "tumors of the groin"

That's right, the Lord's wrath is inflamed and itchy – and about the size of a small grape.

When the men of Ashdod saw what was happening, they said, "The ark of the god of Israel must not stay here with us, because his hand is heavy upon us and upon our god Dagon."

So they called together all the rulers of the Philistines and asked them, "What shall we do with this box?"

The Philistines said: “Move it to Gath.”

So they did.

But after they moved it, the LORD's hand was against that city! And the people of Gath were destroyed and injured and those who were still alive, both old and young, were afflicted with hemorrhoids!

So they moved the Ark as well, they moved it to Ekron.

The people of Ekron called together the Philistines rulers and said, "Hey we don't want it. How do we get rid of this thing?” For they to had death and panic fill the city, and everyone who wasn't dead had hemorrhoids!

When the ark of the LORD had been in Philistine territory seven months, they called for the priests and the diviners and said, "What shall we do with this thing, how can we send it back?”

The priest answered, "If you return the ark, do not send it away empty. Make 5 golden rats, and 5 golden hemorrhoids… that’s right, 5 golden hemorrhoids. Make models of the rats that are destroying the country, and of the hemorrhoids that are destroying your ass. Maybe that will solve the problem.”

“Then, get a brand new cart, take two cows that have calves, the cows can’t have ever been yolked. Hitch the cows to the cart. Then you take the ark, put it on the cart, and put the golden rats and hemorrhoids in a chest next to it. Then send the cart on its way, but keep watching it. If it goes up to Beth Shemesh, then the LORD has brought this great disaster on us. But if it goes in anywhere else, then this was obviously just a miscommunication - a misunderstanding – accompanied by massive municipal destruction and an epidemic of ass-sores.

So they took two cows, took away the baby cows and hitched the momma's to the cart. And placed the ark on the cart along with the chest containing the gold rats and golden hemmorrhoids... and they sent it on it's way.

Of course it went straight to Beth Shemesh.

The rulers of the Philistines followed the ark all the way to Beth Shemesh.

When the ark made it to Beth Shemesh, the people rejoiced. They chopped up the wood of the cart, then killed the cows and burnt them as a burnt offering to the Lord.

God then immediately slayed 50,070 of them because a couple of them peeked into the ark.

This is PROOF that those Israelites in Beth Shemesh were God's chosen people. Because, although 50,000 of them were slaughtered, God didn't give any of them hemorrhoids. He left their ass completely affliction free! Proof that God loves them more than the Philistines.

The people of Beth Shemesh mourned because of the heavy blow the Lord had dealt them, and the men of Beth Shemesh asked, "Who would want this thing, where can we send it?"

(Even they didn't want God's Box, and they were the Israelites.)

So they sent messengers to the people of Kiriath Jearim, saying, "Hey, um, the Philistines have returned the ark of the Lord. Come down and take it up to your place." (Notice they didn't mention anything about the 50,000 people that had just been killed).

So the men of Kiriath Jearim came and took up the ark of the LORD. They took it to Abinadab's house upon the hill outside the city and had his son, Eleazar, guard it.

And the rest is for a story on a different day. I don't even think that story needs a recap.

Thanks again, enjoy the videos.